Swallowed Words

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that we should think before we speak. A few days ago, I happened to be in the position of feeling fortunate after having prevented the utterance of an impulsive comment of my own, the materialization of which would potentially bring significant awkwardness to the social situation in which I found myself at the time.

There was this gentleman on my floor whose name was Ian. As we were no more than acquaintance of each other, in addition to my unfamiliarity with the American names, I had always assumed, though without much certainty, that his name should be pronounced as "Iron".

It so chanced one day, when I had to ask Ian about some petty matter not worthy of my readers' knowledge. Not wanting to bypass any social etiquette which I might not be aware of, I decided to address Ian by his name properly before the conversation should proceed.

Me: Hi! Erm....can I know what's your name?

Ian: (In his puzzled look) Ian. (ee-yan 燕）


Surprised by the correct pronunciation of the name, I quipped, "Do you know that means 'swallow' in Mandarin?"

Can you possibly imagine how I relieved I was by the fact that the last sentence was never actually spoken to Ian?