"Life at the moment is so unbearably real, that I need to speak in a foreign tongue to detach myself from reality; only a foreign tongue can properly insulate me from the harsh bombardment of reality." --- DeluSion, 3 weeks ago, lol.
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I find it easier to express myself in English.
No...sometimes I still run out of words and have to think in Mandarin.
But I'm more used to process my thoughts in English, especially if I'm trying to convey a certain message.
(e.g. blogging)
But English feels so un-real. It's like a white man fucking himself into my body and speak for me.
It's alien.
It's not an accurate 100% reflection of what's inside my mind.
Yet I have so many words ready at my disposal, that I could easily toss out strings of them and make them sound as sound as possible, but it's not me.
I feel like a talking machine when I write this.
Why is it, if I'm most familiar with Mandarin, that I find English so useful, so expressive, yet so alien?
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Daniel Khaw:
You talk too much.
So you forget it.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
English and Alienation/Alien-ness
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8 comments:
-__- well i am jz the opposite, i speak and think in mandarin, though i prefer to write english. but i do feel that expressing myself in English is... surreal... so i always tell myself my bf will always b chinese. xD
ditto to vincent. but then again, sometimes we just got to use the mandarin terms. Yet, english sounds sexier in some weird manner.
*shakes hands with Vincent*
Vincent: nah. I still think in Mandarin.
But I don't even think when I write/speak in English. Can't think in English, lol. (I know, I'm contradicting myself.)
Like I said, I was a talking machine when I wrote the blogpost.
Tempus: Sometimes I find English sexier than Mandarin. (haiz, the infiltration of American movies...) But I do have a soft spot with people speaking Mandarin in the Mainland China Accent (but not 东北！）. Still remember a China Chinese housemate. It's like singing when he speaks.
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Nice to have you guys sharing your experience!
i dont speak tamil and dont think tamil , i speak and breathe english , and yet my bf is chinese , how ler?
James: What how? LOL.
correct lar , we can still couple lor , eventhough cant speak native languages
James: Well, I have no experience in this, haha.
But I guess it is certainly possible to take delight in the.....(see, difficult to express oneself in second language)
to take delight in negotiating the finer nuances of....
No, my English fails me.
we do take delight in things (and in the bed),....wink wink ....lol
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