Once Upon A time

I like to tell some people about my time at Taylor's.

"每天8点上课到下午4点。然后就去图书馆读Chemistry或者做Maths。过了一阵子就变成去睡觉了。大概一小时后去买便当或回房间磨磨蹭蹭一下，晚餐时间到。晚餐过后做Further Maths到2点，Chemistry有assignment的话做到3点。整天读书读书读书，那段日子超幸福的。"

(but my further maths is bad...only got C...)

Haiz....

If only life is about studying studying studying. So many things need to factor into daily decisions now.

I'm probably going to the US studying (any course except engineering, medicine, dentistry, pharmacy, law, accountancy).

I don't want to become unemployed~!!!! OMG.

I think medicine is the best in a way. As long as you have the motivation and brain for it, everything gao tim. Everyday lecture lecture lecture, study study study, scold by lecturer and professor, scold by patient, scold by patient's family, scold by nurse, scold by hospital janitor etc....10 years later --- a successful doctor who can scold your subordinates! LoL.

(The way I see it from other medic students' blogs. Feel free to shoot me.)

Pressure Pressure Pressure!!!

NEED TO ESCAPE!!!!!

Common App short answer

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

During my 10th grade, together with 5 good friends, I took part in a debate competition. We lost miserably. The next year, we got into the semifinals. We were also given the “Best Team Award” ad hoc; in a visit to our school, the organizer found out we’d been preparing for the competition without a team coach. Debate has developed my logical-thinking and rhetorical skills; however, after a few competitions, I came to realize its limitation. I enjoyed debate as an intellectual exercise, but in real life, debate is unlikely to resolve conflicts. Debate needs a common ground on which arguments can be constructed, which is [what] lacking in a conflict. Also, facts alone are cold, yet conflicts are often charged with emotion. To resolve a conflict, we need to acknowledge the underlying emotions and sentiments of all parties involved. That can come through dialogue.

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Thanks to Nicholas for reviewing this piece.
(and everybody for the mental support)

Cornell Gathering

Went to KL to meet an online friend and a group of Cornell admits and current students and alumni.

For some reasons feel so motivated after talking to them (or rather, listening them talk, lol).

n-lemma

I can't believe I'm going to have to choose between a University that ranks 15 worldwide and another that ranks 280!

FUCK ME!

Le Chatelier's Principle

Any system in stable chemical equilibrium, subjected to the influence of an external cause which tends to change either its temperature or its condensation (pressure, concentration, number of molecules in unit volume), either as a whole or in some of its parts, can only undergo such internal modifications as would, if produced alone, bring about a change of temperature or of condensation of opposite sign to that resulting from the external cause.

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This is what written in the notes given by my A-level lecturer. It's a bit 变态right....but I think it's useful in helping students to understand Le Chatelier's Principle, because the students need to analyse the (archaic) language, and when they understand the language, they understand the principle. One bird two stone! Sorry, is one stone two birds. Also, you can 顺便agak the historical understanding/development of the relevant theories, like what they meant by "cause", "influence", "external" etc, and what are the modern equivalents of those terms.

I really think this is better than those "concise" notes.

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Likewise, Newton's First Law:

Every body perseveres in its state of being at rest or of moving uniformly straight ahead, except insofar as it is compelled to change its state by forces impressed.

This sentence and I printed out and stick on the wall in my room when I was Form 4, because (if I'm not mistaken), this is the English translation of what Newton has written in his Principia Mathematica in Latin.

Sonnet 130

Some Englishman says,

“An aesthetic experience is one in which your senses are operating at their peak. When you’re present in the current moment. When you’re resonating with the excitement of this thing you’re experiencing. When you are fully alive. Anasthetic is when you shut your senses off. And deaden yourself to what’s happening.” School should be about waking kids up. Waking their senses. Teaching them to be fully present. Alive. Operating at their peak. Pursuing their passions.

Sonnet 130 by William Shakespeare, more commonly known as Will Shake (*ok I made this up.)

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnets/130detail.html

Summary of the poem: My lover not extraordinarily pretty pun, but I still love her loh. (haha)

You know what one of the big failure of school education? They killed your appreciation for the arts.

Tell me how are you going to like any English poetry again when for one whole year you had been reading the same 3 poems and doing the same questions? I can still even remember the celaka questions.

1. What does "eye of the heaven" refer to? (Sonnet 18)

B. The Summer's Sun.

2. What does "veils of the morning" refer to? (Lake Isle of Innisfree)

C. Mist (the most sickening question! Same question from form 1 to form 3!)

I don't often take delight in the flowery words of literature, but I'm happy now I can just read and be. No more idiotic exam questions.

Civic Participation (with lab) 101

So I received an e-mail this morning with a link that brought me to the following page:

http://allout.org/call_un?akid=118.394133.7rGAjh&rd=1&t=4&utm_campaign=callun&utm_content=english&utm_medium=email&utm_source=actionkit

Apparently the UN Human Rights Council (of which Malaysia is a member state) is going to vote on "an historic resolution to protect LGBT (i.e. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered) rights. What the page says was:

"It's down to the wire, and many nations are undecided. It's critical that the foreign office in your country hears from you right now.

The vote is THIS FRIDAY JUNE 17. Please contact your ministry of foreign affairs, and ask them to Vote YES.

Thank you for taking action! "

So I did a little bit of research information gathering on the internet and decided that it is worth to make a phone call to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

I didn't take much effort on me to find the contact details because everything was on the website above, including what I was supposed to say, lol.

So I made the phone call in the morning.

Officer : Selamat Pagiiiii........

Me : erm....I'm calling to enquire about a resolution that will be voted on this week by the United Nations Human Rights Council.

Officer : mm hmm? (encouraging)

Me : So I read from the internet....(read from script) that the United Nations Human Rights Council will vote on a resolution concerning human rights violations based on sexual orientation and gender identity this week. Erm.....can I know how Malaysia is going to vote?

Officer : erm. A moment please.

(call got redirected)

Officer2 : Selamat Pagiii......

Me : Erm.......sorry, can I speak in English?

Officer2 : Yes!

Me : (thank goodness.) Erm, I have some questions regarding a resolution that will be voted on this week at erm....the United Nations Human Rights Council.

Officer2 : okay. (anticipating my question)

Me : (read from script again, lol) This Friday at the United Nations Human Rights Council Malaysia will vote on a resolution concerning human rights violations based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Can I know how Malaysia is going to vote?

Officer2 : Well, erm, I'm just a receptionist. (Me: CB) You can try calling the International Law Division. 03-8887 4001

Me : Ok, thank you.

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Me : (call, but nobody picked up the phone.)

(Call a few times, then sien liao, gave up.)

Hope Malaysia will vote Yes, or at least abstain from voting. Please don't vote No. Mempersiasuikan diri sendiri seriously. I think voting No is analogous to voting No on a resolution that calls for an end of slavery in 19th century.

If you read the website, it suggests me to somewhat persuade or make a point to the Ministry to abstain from voting in the case that Malaysia is going to vote No.

I understand a single citizen's voice won't change the country's stance, but IF the person on the other end of the phone actually tell me Malaysia is going to vote No, how am I going to persuade him/her that Malaysia should abstain from voting? Imagine:

Officer3: Sir, Malaysia is going to vote against the resolution.

Me : yor....jangan lah ..... jangan lah.....jangan macam ni lah......

*palm on face*

According to the script, this is what I should say:

No human being should face violence, torture, stigmatization and abuse, on any grounds. Please don’t block this important measure based on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Will you abstain from voting?"

Officer3: yor...I'm not the person who make the decision okay.....Who are you?

Me : I'm a Malaysian citizen!

*LOL*

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“革命不是请客吃饭。” -- 毛泽东

I dislike 毛泽东 by the way.

“革命尚未成功，同志仍须努力。” -- 孙中山

Yeah I like the tone of this one.

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Update:

The resolution is passed with 23 countries voted in favour, 19 opposed, 3 abstained.

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/06/17/un.lgbt.rights/index.html

English and Alienation/Alien-ness

"Life at the moment is so unbearably real, that I need to speak in a foreign tongue to detach myself from reality; only a foreign tongue can properly insulate me from the harsh bombardment of reality." --- DeluSion, 3 weeks ago, lol.

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I find it easier to express myself in English.

No...sometimes I still run out of words and have to think in Mandarin.

But I'm more used to process my thoughts in English, especially if I'm trying to convey a certain message.

(e.g. blogging)

But English feels so un-real. It's like a white man fucking himself into my body and speak for me.

It's alien.

It's not an accurate 100% reflection of what's inside my mind.

Yet I have so many words ready at my disposal, that I could easily toss out strings of them and make them sound as sound as possible, but it's not me.

I feel like a talking machine when I write this.

Why is it, if I'm most familiar with Mandarin, that I find English so useful, so expressive, yet so alien?

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Daniel Khaw:

You talk too much.

So you forget it.

Glee Video

Sometimes I think I'm such a 失败 gay guy. Didn't even watch Glee. Then perhaps this has nothing to do with being gay but just being outdated.

Found this video on youtube anyway. Orgasmic.

Letter from Florida

Dear Father,

It's 2 in the morning here, and I am so sleepy. We started our first day at Universal Studio, Florida this morning. Tried lots and lots of supposedly exciting games, e.g. roller coaster. I think at the end of the day, I already felt numb. I totally didn't bother to shout on the roller coaster. Not even afraid.....

We went to a kind of Harry Potter theme park within the Universal Studio. I had a great time there. It's a pity the souvenirs couldn't be priced cheaper.

The food here is horrible. You know what I mean.

I can tell that I feel most comfortable mixing with 2nd uncle's daughters. I can be as natural as I can get when I speak to them. I had some nice chats with (my cousin-in-law) too these few days. He thinks he's weird, but guess what, I'm weirder, haha! But he's so much more knowledgeable than me. I really enjoyed talking to him.

Cousin ABC - we've had some conversations which we've never really had in the past. She got herself a (temporary) tattoo. I told her now the school can cut her hair, but if things go more wrong, one day the school could also cut her skin to remove the tattoo. She wondered why I had to be so extreme in my views. I don't think I'm extreme, I just like to incite. There are so many things which don't go the way I want, which I am incapable of changing, that I hope talking about it would at least encourage people to solve the problem for me while I just sit and eat and sleep. Hahaha.

We went to Walmart, the hypermarket chain in USA. It's not very different from Tesco. But things are so much cheaper. Can you imagine 7 slices of cheesecake for USD 2.50? It's still cheap even if you convert back to RM.

So much for today. I hope I could access the Internet later, else this would be my last e-mail from USA.

Send my regards to mommy.


DeluSion

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*Sambil menulis sambil menangis in the hotel lobby. Walau A.

O Mio Babbino Caro

Dear Father,

The instruction for executing the payment is at the end of this personal letter*. We have just concluded our second day in New York when I was composing this letter.

New York, is, basically, very big. Many many lights. Not many people actually, by that I mean not as crowded as we had seen in Hong Kong. But perhaps that was because of the three consecutive public holidays here.

One thing I observed during this trip is the ongoing conflicts between a few of us cousins - conflict of opinions, conflict of personality, conflict of interest, and by interest I mean the things we enjoy doing, e.g. shopping or going to museum >.<

I'm not saying we were always arguing. The mood of the trip cannot be better, but as you may know, this is the first time I had to LIVE with my cousins for all 24 hours 7 days a week, and conflicts arise naturally. E.g, cousin XYZ is always asking for the details of our plan -- "Where are we going?" "What time should we meet?" "How do you know what time the shop close?" It's good to be detail-oriented, but sometimes, it really gets to my nerves when she asks me questions when I was most unprepared to answer. Before you get the wrong meaning of this (shall I say unexpectedly?) long letter, let me clarify that I'm just trying to illustrate the "conflicts" I have mentioned earlier (I'm just using her as an example.) And then ABC, I understand she's undergoing a "transition" stage, but sometimes when she speaks I really want to slap her face. Same goes to other cousins, perhaps with the exception of PQR and UVW. They are all very quiet and easy-going with everybody >.< I'm not all perfect too, as I'm pretty sure I also had my stupid moments.

We're going to Florida tomorrow afternoon. I have bought a painting for Mom. Well, not exactly. I just saw the painting on the street and thought she would like it, which I hope she would, because I was very much fond of it too.

No gifts for you yet, unfortunately. I hope this letter would compensate for that at present.

DeluSion

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