This is probably the first time I played basketball, as in seriously played basketball (despite the horrible techniques...) throughout my secondary school life. And our team won!
Won't claim any credit for the win, because I think they belong to the other team members.
But anyway I feel happy. Yay! It's been a very long time since I last time I had confidence that I'm going to do well in my life, or at least I CAN do well in my life. It could just be a short-lived "feel-good" moment, but what the hell, when you're happy you don't go and ask why you're happy!
Ahhh!!!!!!!!!!
I think it comes from KNOWING that I don't need to DEPEND on anybody handsome man to be happy, to feel fulfilled and content. At least this is what I think la.
So after I reached home, I took my "A Concise Chinese English Dictionary for Lovers" out of the house, and read this excerpt out loud to the road:
"You should learn to play with your own clitoris." Once you told me this on the bed. We were naked, and we had just made love.
Your hand touched my body. "If you want to have an orgasm, you should touch yourself here."
I remember this conversation. But I never did it with myself, because I was always with you. Why do I have to?
On the roof of Residencia Mina, through the trees, the sun penetrates my skin. The leaves rustle in the mild wind. I start to touch myself.
The juice flows from my cave, and my fingers touch my hidden lips. Up and down. A great urge coming over me like a high tide flooding my body. The only thing I can see is the blue sky. The deep blue, like a boundless sea. The dry leaves under my skin are wet from my desire.
My body starts to shake. My breath gets difficult. My cave wants to devour something. I want to shout. It is almost painful, I feel like crying.
And I scream.
On my own. With myself. I did it. It is like dream.
For the first time in my entire life, I came by myself.
I can be on my own. I can. I can rely on myself, without depending on a man.
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Like that la.
3 comments:
where did u actually get the dictionary?
Lucifer: Hello!
It is actually a novel written in 'chinglish' at the beginning, then slowly the english improves and become more standardized.
It's about a young woman from China who travelled to London to study English, fell in love with a man and cultural shock etc. A large part of the novel deals with "speechlessness". I think it made an impact on me.
erm...next time...if you want to content like this...please put a warning...f**k...
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