Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A Concise Chinese English Dictionary for Lovers

My body is in Berlin, but my heart is left in London, left for you. I don't feel myself together. All I want do is find some internet cafe write emails. I cannot stop thinking of you.



You wrote me from London this morning, or maybe you wrote from last night:

"Although our bodies are separated, I still feel as if I am with you."



I write to you back immediately. I say it is too lonely on the road on my own. I don't see the pint.



But you write me back:

"In the West we are used to loneliness. I think it's good for you to experience loneliness, to explore what it feels like to be on your own. After a while, you will start to enjoy solitude. You won't be so scared of it anymore."



I read this email again and again in internet cafe not knowing your exactly meaning.

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Is a modern cafe, the red and black colour chairs and tables are all in geometry shape. So much designing here, it almost feels uncomfortable. I want you suddenly turn up in front of me, and take off my clothes and squeeze my body and hold tightly. Oh, I want to make love with you, make love with you right now, right here. Only making love can wipe out this loneliness. Only making love can touch the soul. I want you hold my body painfully tight. I feel hurting when you squeeze my body like that, but at the same time I feel contented. It's strange. Pleasure could be so painful.

-----------

I was in my room, skipping the pages of the book. It's my second read. Just got the book back from a friend. And I started to sob, to hold my breath, and tears rolled in the eyes.

-----------

I was in the car today. And I thought of a line in the book. And it started again, I started to sob.



Home is everything. Home is not sex but also about it. Home is not a delicious meal but is also about it. Home is not a lighted bedroom but is also about it. Home is not a hot bath in the winter but it is also about it.



家包含了一切。家不只是性爱,不只是美味的三餐,不只是明亮的卧室,不只是寒冬的热水澡,家包含这些,以及更多。



Oh c'mon, that's not the translation. The 'about' means something else. But what is it? What is it?



Home is not.....but also about......Home is not .....but also about......What is the equivalent of the chinese word for the "about"?



And I started to feel like crying. But it stopped. It felt like something untouched inside my heart had just been tickled. I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry. I just felt.....like that. And tears came. The emptiness has moved to somewhere else.

2 comments:

Crystal Colloid Cum said...

Apparently this post has caused some misunderstandings la.

The lines in italics are NOT my work, it's from a FICTIONAL book titled "A Concise Chinese English Dictionary for Lovers". It is not a dictionary in its usual meaning.

Hope that clarifies things a bit.

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