Falling

I wonder if I might do drugs at some point in my life.

You see, I USE coffee when I study. The habit started at my lower forms, and at one year, probably form 2 I switched to tea. They help me to stay awake when I studied for exams, which is the only reason I studied back then.

Then it came to form 4, when I think I became increasingly dependent on coffee. Still I only USED it when I have exams. I find that it sort of gave a boost for memorising power. So I USED it for Biology and Sejarah. I don't think I used it for Physics, as I thought I need to be calm when I think on physics stuff. So basically it was just for Biology and Sejarah during exams. I even contemplated whether to USE it before SPM Sejarah. But I didn't. No time to bancuh kopi, every second is used to soak in as many information as I could before the exam started.

Then it was life after SPM. No exams, hence no need of the extra boost from coffee.

Then it was form 6, and I picked up again on Biology. It was then I discovered the magical wonders of what coffee can do. I was on taxonomy, and a cup of coffee could help me understand some otherwise difficult concepts easily. I USED it for 3 days in a row. That was when the magic ceased to work. I felt tired already. I was, of course, alarmed of the change, and immediately stopped TAKING IN coffee.

That time onwards, I virtually limited my coffee consumption to once a week. And it chanced that after I TAKE IN coffee, I studied physics. And it worked so wonderfully well. The ideas. The sharpness of mind. They all set in.

The coffee makes me more aware of myself, and the things around me. With coffee I could spend hours thinking on one single problem. Of course, I didn't just glue myself on a chair and concentrate on the physics notes....but I walk around the house, jump up and down, circle my room...while letting the problem works itself out in my mind. It's pretty a waste of time in terms of efficiency, because --- a few hours on a single problem?!?! And no, I'm not thinking about super complex problem of any sophisticated field. They're just simple pre-U level physics. I need the time to slowly build up the concepts, and develops a kind of feeling of acceptance towards the theory. Or so I think.


Coffee excites me. It makes me feel so enlightened when I figured out something. I like it. I'm a little worried.
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This is an incomplete post. Have to study physics while I'm still "under coffee".