废话包装不平等

1. 同性恋没有错也没有伤害人，不过如果全世界都同性恋的话，那么人类将绝种，所以我不鼓励同性恋。

2. 吃饭是人类求生的本能，不过如果全世界人类都只顾吃饭不干活的话，那么全人类将饿死，所以我不鼓励吃饭。

3. 大小便是自然现象，不过如果人一整天都在大小便，人将缺水虚脱而死，所以我不鼓励大小便。

4. 男生自慰是正常的情欲发泄，不过如果每个男生都一整天只顾打水枪的话，国家经济将停滞不前，所以我不鼓励男生自慰。

5. 女生自慰好像也是正常的情欲发泄，不过如果每个女生都只爱自慰不爱男根，人类将会灭绝，所以我也不鼓励女生自慰。

6. 当医生很伟大，不过如果每个人都当医生没人耕田，世界将会产生粮食危机，所以我不鼓励当医生。

7. 杀人放火很不应该，不过如果全部人都奉公守法，世界变没有警察，没有警察社会将会失序，所以我不反对人家杀人放火。

8. 当和尚尼姑很好，不过如果全世界都持色戒的话，人类将绝种，所以我不鼓励长期出家。

9. 男欢女爱很正常，不过如果全部男女都只在床上做工，国家经济将严重衰退，所以我不鼓励男女性交。

10. 讲废话是人的天性，不过如果24小时都在讲将会口干舌燥脱水而死，所以我不鼓励讲废话。

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* 没有针对任何人。

讲笑

今天在班跟大伙儿说那种“an engineer， a physicist and a mathematician"的笑话。>.<

A mathematician, an engineer and a chemist are at a conference. They are staying in adjoining rooms. One evening they are downstairs in the bar. The mathematician goes to bed first. The chemist goes next, followed a minute or two later by the engineer. The chemist notices that in the corridor outside their rooms a rubbish bin is ablaze. There is a bucket of water nearby. The chemist starts concocting a means of generating carbon dioxide in order to create a makeshift extinguisher but before he can do so the engineer arrives, dumps the water on the fire and puts it out. The next morning the chemist and engineer tell the mathematician about the fire. She admits she saw it. They ask her why she didn't put it out. She replies contemptuously "there was a fire and a bucket of water: a solution obviously existed."

我讲得不是很好，因为我也不大记得它的plot了。

不过我看到别的,蛮好笑的。
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An analyst, a pure mathematician, and a statistician apply for a job. The interviewer asks each of them the question "What is 1/3 multiplied by 3?" The analyst enters it into his calculator and replies that the answer is 0.9999999. The pure mathematician replies that the answer is obviously 1. Then, the statistician asks the interviewer "What do you want it to be?"

哈哈哈。是不是很好笑？再来。

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one sheep, at least one side of which looks black."

最后，我两年后终于看懂的：
A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

超好笑的！尤其刚看懂的时候！
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去年考EST之前也是跟大伙儿讲类似的笑话，一年过去了，还是换汤不换药，哈哈。

消音

今天考chemistry，头头是Pak Ho进班。你知道他几多话讲的，所以分了考卷还跟我们射蚊子一下。（still got 2 minutes lah har.....)

不知道讲到什么了，oh, 好像是讲班上两个男生homosexual，然后全部人就正常地笑咯。
然后，这时，Lailai sipek 正经地问：

"sir, do you ok homosexual？"

问的语气就像问“Is Malaysia an Islamic Country?", 就像问"What can be done to save youths from negative activities?"，就像问"Discuss ways to improve national unity."

我突然间也（愚蠢的）等着Pak Ho回答。同时再次意识到我的身份是很具话题性的，意识到我的存在是有待肯定的。顿时愤怒，也顿时平静。

”what do you mean by ok?"

"yor...like can you accept two men?"

"Two men what? Make a full sentence."

"Err....do you feel ok with homosexual?"

"Do you feel ok means you're asking me whether I'm sick or not. You see....ok is an adjective....bla bla bla"
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"You see, we are conditioned by our customs and traditions. Is it right? Do you agree?"

某negligible小配角：“No....."

"Well, they have their freedom right, as long as they do not go against the law, it should be fine. But if the society cannot accept that...then they've got to follow the customs right? If they choose to go against the customs....then they become an outcast, a pariah. bla bla bla."

非常“中立”与无害的论调。我一点也不觉得有多好听。我最原始的本能让我，sorry, 是第二原始的本能。最原始的本能是性欲。Ok, 我第二原始的本能让我有站起来喊fuck you的冲动。当然啦，我第三原始的本能让我马上平静。

然后我想起我还要考chemistry, 考卷在手了，时间没到我也可以先做。
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有人问过我，“这个社会有歧视同性恋meh?” 每一时每一刻，深入骨子里。

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“Can you accept Chinese?"
"Can you accept married woman working?"
"Can you accept Chinese become Menteri Besar?"

Long Time No Use English to Write

很久很久没写英文作文了。My English has rotten. 明天考MUET，自己做了一些练习。（其实我觉得拿来读biology 比较划算，可是我又不想我的英文成绩kanasai, so....)

Crime rate is increasing because people are too busy to care for each other. Do you agree? Give your opinion. Your essay must no be less than 350 words.
_______________________________________________________
Answer:
Our country and the world is becoming more and more urbanised with large populations of people concentrated at a few locations which are cities and metropolists. It is widely observed that people in cities are less warm towards one another, and hence there are polemics that associate rising crime rate with lack of caring attitudes among people.

In my opinion, this association has its merits, as the most significant rise in crime rate all occurs in cities like Kuala Lumpur and Johor Bahru. These are the places where people come from all over the country to seek jobs. As many of the residents are not local, there is a lack of sense of belonging among them. Hence it is only human if they are more reserved in helping strangers. As a result, it becomes easier for criminals to harm others and not being caught in the act of wrongdoings.

Nevertheless, I do not agree that lack of caring attitudes among residents is the principal cause of increasing crime rate. Afterall, there are many contributing factors that result in rise in crime rate. (这样的开头很有马来文作文的味道。）Researches have shown that the crime rate within the lower income populations is significantly higher than that within other groups. (制造莫须有的罪名和巩固成见。）This is especially true for property crimes such as burglary, snatchtheft and pickpocketing. When people are living in poverty, out of desperation they might resolve to committing crimes for survival as their income are not on par with the high living costs in urban areas. The soar in crime rate during an economic downturn or depression is evident that poverty is a cause of rising crime rate.

Apart from that, poor enforement of law could explain the ever increasing crime rate. Seeing crime as an antisocial, abnormal behaviour, an environment that gives the impression of disorder or poor law enforcement is conducive to normalisation of criminal behaviours. When criminals are constantly getting away with the crimes they have committed, this gives other potential criminals the green light to join the team. Over time, the area is infested with crimes and it becomes very difficult for the law enforcers (不会讲police啊！）to intervene and reestablish law and order, because crime has become normal in that particular area.

Lastly, the change in our ways of living might be a driving force for the increase in criminal activities. Corresponding to change in the structure of our society following industrialisation and urbanisation, people are becoming more independent and individualistic. Gone are the days when people rely on family members to earn a living. Living in a capitalistic society, people are more prone to become materialistic and attempt to earn money by all means, which include crime. It takes time before the people settle down with the new way of living and the government to come up with a social policy that tackles effectively the problems that come together with social change.

In conclusion, (时间不够了） crime is not just a moral issue. It is intertwined with social issues like wealth distribution, civil awareness and law enforcement. It would be an oversimplification and hasty generalization to tie rising crime rate to just one cause.
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Please please give me band 5. Attached here is a RM 50 note.