Dream

I woke up from a dream in which my mother was diagnosed with some terminal stage heart disease and father died in car accident. Cried like siao in the dream.

Shopping Period

One fun thing about most American colleges is that the undergraduate students get to "shop" for classes in the first one or two weeks of the semester, which means we can add or drop classes as we like during the two-week shopping period. That is possible because in most cases, students have the chance to take any course they like, regardless of their majors or concentrations, provided they meet the course pre-requisites. For example, although I only plan to take 5 courses this semester, my time-table for Wednesday look like this because of "window-shopping":

8:00 - University Writing Seminar

9:00 - Introduction to Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics

10:00 - Modern China - Ming to Mao

11:00 - Organic Chemistry

12:00 - Quantum Theory

1:00 - Introduction to Computers

2:00 - Introduction to 3D Animation

3:00 - Multivariable Calculus.


Which effectively means classes from 8:00 in the morning until 5:30 pm.

Of these courses I'm sure I will be taking:

1. University Writing Seminar
2. Multivariable Calculus
3. Organic Chemistry
4. One Physics course (Thermodynamics or Quantum Theory)
5. 3D animation or The Economics of Third World Hunger

The reason I'm shopping so many courses is that I want to avoid the horrible experience in my Modern Physics class last semester, where I learnt less than a third of the material and not knowing what the lecturer was talking about for the entire semester - by shopping for more courses, if anything went wrong in one particular class, I can just substitute that class with another.
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Also....I'm a bit worried about Multivariable Calculus because I decided to skip the Single Variable Calculus course, since I've learnt most of the content in STPM. However, STPM Math didn't help students to develop a good understanding of calculus....so.....ya....very sien one. I did pretty ok for math last semester, hopefully history will repeat.

Racism

Racism hurts.

Not just other people's racism, but my own racism, or rather, my concession (concede) to white supremacy.

Eats me up from inside. Something like internalized homophobia.

Reading this is therapeutic:

http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/2010/07/wonder-if-they-should-call-out-what.html#comment-form

Yes I Had Sex with a Stranger

oh my god I'm so lazy to write about all this shit. Sex, penis, penile-centric, oral, anal, foreplay, virginity, partriachy, civilization, modesty, morality, heterosexism, ethics bla bla bla bla bla.

Going to blog about how I never lost my virginity even though I had sex, because I had renounced virginity before I ever had sex(*1). About how I refuse to let a distorted, ugly product of partriachy and religion to prevent me from seeking pleasure and exploring my OWN body. About there being nothing special of the first time and I would not "save" it for anyone but myself. About how I will not apologize for being homosexual and therefore would not apologize either for being sexual.

About how I can totally live without anal penetration and with just kissing and foreplay as an end to itself.

Bla bla bla.

I'm just lazy.

So that's it.

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(*1) Alright strictly speaking that's not true. It's just that even though after I had my first oral sex (which is sex. If you feel sexual, than it is sex. Imagine if a heterosexual come tell you anal sex is not sex because there is no vagina involved.) , I still felt like a virgin until I renounced virginity soon before I had sex again.

Which Would Look Stupid If I Posted It on Facebook

A piece of my heart just died.

(anti-climax: you have heart attack izzit?)