What Do I Want to Do with My Life...

It was 3am, I was studying for the Physics mid-term in the computer room. Quantum mechanics.

I'm an intellectually LAZY person. I don't really care whether space is absolute; the universe has an origin in time; nature is deterministic; or the earth is flat for that matter. I'm sure, in principle at least, I could be oblivious to all these statements collectively we call knowledge, yet still live a happy, fulfilled life.

Maybe I'm just generally lazy. There's nothing I really like to do, or am passionate about doing. I don't draw, don't play music, don't camwhore, don't dance, don't work out（*1), don't have serial one night stands. I'm even lazy to sleep.

But I can't be THAT lazy. I just feel that, sometimes the things I am passionate about, like having multiple orgasms and, oh well, reading, are not what people count as hobbies. It sounds kind of sad to (have to) say one's hobby is reading. Furthermore, like I said, I'm intellectually lazy. A lot of times when I read, I don't feel I'm engaged with the thoughts of the author, rather, I skim through pages, absorbing all the authors have to say, or what I like to read. The way I read, is like watching TV.

It's like I'm, to use the phrase I just learnt, emotionally dead inside.

Yet, I still experience emotion. I was angry as hell when Seksualiti Merdeka was banned.

It was 3am. On my skinny left arm, I wrote "I want my RIGHTS!" (*2)

I want to
1. cure AIDS
2. stop climate change
3. end poverty
4. eradicate religion and
5. invent a drug that will turn one hot guy gay and the other gay guys straight.

All these will not happen, unless I actually go out and do something!

First I need to improve my mind, body and skill sets! Do something! Learn new stuff. Challenge ideas, mine or others!

Do something or else nothing will ever change!

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Notes:
*1 unless you count the Physical Education class I'm taking.
*2 which looks rather silly the next morning when I bare my arms during the PE class.