Deadweight Loss

Men discriminate against women, women teruk, but at least men can gain something.

Slave trade in America, whites discriminated against blacks, made them slaves in cotton plantation, blacks worked teruk teruk sometimes like animals, but at least cotton is produced, in a sense there is still productivity (at the expense of the black people of course).

Heteronormative people discriminated against homosexuals. Can I know what do they gain?



All these hooh-hah's against homosexuality by the Muslims recently, and their assumption that Islam is above every human rights instruments...make me realize how comfortable life must be for a majority who never needs to challenge his own assumptions, whose values allign with the mainstream society, by the definition of mainstream.

For one millisecond, I thought, kanineh, how good it must be as a Muslim in country. But I can't think of any good. No sex before marriage. Crazy people have say in all your private life. People tell you how to wear.

Seriously, got any good? But I guess there is no good in religion one la. Waste resources only.

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Islam is a religion of peace：





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*Islam belongs to the 7-th century.

I Absolutely Heart This Song

In light of the falsehood that has been voiced over thiese few weeks regarding Seksualiti Merdeka by certain segments of Malaysian society and the subsequent upset of the festival, I thought we could use some saccharine sweet music to boost our morale.

This is Why I Hate Your Islam

Taken from here: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=445968578489439861&postID=3945137238038412655

"We don't hate you. We accept the fact that there is LGBT among us. We are willing to work among you. We will never randomly spit or harm you. But please don't force us to accept your sexual ideology like this.

Why you want to BOLD PROMOTE your lifestyle? It is like telling us that you want us to be like you.

In Islam, LGBT is SINFUL/PROHIBITED as similar to drink winery, eating pigs, pre-marital intercourse, or killing without any good reason. If there is any LGBT who also a Muslim, he/she/etc obviosly SINNER.

Many convention agreement or legal enactment about human rights but when certain part of it clearly contradict with Islamic practice, we Muslim accept the rules by Islam above the other no matter how not popular the rules is.

Sadly you're in Malaysia, you are living right in the middle of muslim community, so please don't contradict much when it comes to issue like this.

YOU ACTION IS LIKE ONE CHEERING FOR ROONEY WHILE SITTING AMONG THE FULL ENERGETIC CROWD OF LIVERPOOL DIE HARD."

Meeting Someone in Cambridge

Met a gay Malaysian guy this afternoon. This is like, my second time meeting someone who is gay whom I know online (does facebook count, haha). So I was quite excited.

We walked around his campus, found some place to sit and have tea (Indian Chai which taste like teh tarik I suppose). Basically just chat. And you know, I'm very bad at talking one...so it ended up him asking me a lot of questions and I answer. Haha.

Him: Which part of Malaysia are you from?
Me: Kedah. (I already know he's from KL.)
(chat chat chat)
Him: What are you studying?
Me: I'm not quite sure yet. But it's probably Biology, or Biological Physics, or Biochemistry.

(ok it's not just him who ask questions la...I also got ask, eg

Me: What's your thesis about?
Him: Oh...I'm writing on the topic of (bla bla bla)
Me: ooh...(oh shit DeluSion! Think! Think! What to talk next!!!)

Then he asked me whether I'm strictly into guys. So I say yes lo. "I'm quite strict. haha." [Actually not. Would I really care if someone in every way conforms to my (deeply colonized) ideas and expectations of a man and is extremely hot but has a vagina? I think no lo. But I think this is just an academic question la. How often do you bump into such guys.]
(Disclaimer: This statement shall not be construed to mean that I'm top.][Disclaimer2: The preceding disclaimer shall not be construed to mean I'm bottom.][Disclaimer3: Disclaimer 1 and 2 shall not be combinedly interpreted to mean that I'm versatile, versatile bottom or versatile top.]

You see the thing is that I usually avoid asking personal questions in a conversation because I'm scared of making people uncomfortable. That means I will even avoid questions like "Do you like coffee or tea." haha. So...haiz...like that how to talk? Sure run out of topics right...

So don't say I didn't do anything in the weekend!!

Yay, now go study.

Swallowed Words

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that we should think before we speak. A few days ago, I happened to be in the position of feeling fortunate after having prevented the utterance of an impulsive comment of my own, the materialization of which would potentially bring significant awkwardness to the social situation in which I found myself at the time.

There was this gentleman on my floor whose name was Ian. As we were no more than acquaintance of each other, in addition to my unfamiliarity with the American names, I had always assumed, though without much certainty, that his name should be pronounced as "Iron".

It so chanced one day, when I had to ask Ian about some petty matter not worthy of my readers' knowledge. Not wanting to bypass any social etiquette which I might not be aware of, I decided to address Ian by his name properly before the conversation should proceed.

Me: Hi! Erm....can I know what's your name?

Ian: (In his puzzled look) Ian. (ee-yan 燕）


Surprised by the correct pronunciation of the name, I quipped, "Do you know that means 'swallow' in Mandarin?"

Can you possibly imagine how I relieved I was by the fact that the last sentence was never actually spoken to Ian?

Moody Update

Things that made me sad:

1. CB Singaporean who exposed my weakness to me.

2. Having to pull an all-nighter to finish my Physics problem set tonight.

3. Scoring less than 1 standard deviation above average in my Organic Lab mid-term when I thought I answered all questions correctly.

4. Falling behind in lectures.

5. CB Singaporean

6. CB Singaporean

7. CB Singaporean

8. And to finally realize my sadness stems from my own weaknesses rather than what the Singaporean had said to me.



Things that make me happy:

1. Knowing I got a median score for my Physics mid-term, which mean I'm not the worst in the class. (build happiness on other people's pain ==)

2. Getting an A for Linear Algebra mid-term, while the math genius (whom I really admire) in class got A-, which actually showed me getting good grades in exam does not correlate with how smart a person is, which in turn devalued all the good grades I got in my school years, which make this a sad revelation actually. The American education system spat on my face. Lol.

3. Came up with a strategy to cut my food expenses, which is working well.

Sensual Pleasure

Hey I want to share a choir video with you guys. I saw it on tv a few years back, the soloist damn cute right?

Seriously Need to Get More Organized

1. winter clothing (either order online or shop! expensive or not you'll still have to get one! And soon!)

2. winter break housing (observe deadline!)

3. thanksgiving

4. Finish lab report after lab tomorrow, and pray lab will go smoothly.

Complaint

Roommate trying to teach someone differentiation OVER THE PHONE. And the thing about American men is that their speaking pitch is very very low! It makes me feel very uncomfortable most of the time.

It can be sexy when you hear it for 5 seconds, but the roommate has been speaking for like half an hour. It's really CB.

I think I can understand why the Singaporean so tulan my accent, though my pitch is definitely not as low as a "typical" American male.

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Seriously, the Americans I have met so far are very informal. If I were on the one on the phone, I would have walked out of the room. Like, I apologise beforehand whenever I'm going to have a skype session with my parents. (e.g. "hey guys I'm going on skype for the next 20 minutes or so, is that alright?")

Good, now I can skype to my hearts content. Apparently American's tolerance for noise is much higher than mine.

Ineptitude

As much as I yearn for social interaction, I consistently find myself feeling anxious when they actually become available.

Usually I become very nervous as I'm uncertain of the progression of the conversation. Especially the case when I'm talking to someone "new". Once the conversation began, I will worry about how to end it nicely to avoid any potential awkwardness. So you see even before the conversation started I'm already thinking of ending it ==. I really don't know where this "performance anxiety" stems from. On one hand I am keen know it's good to form new relations, yet on the other I am tired of observing the social protocols that leads to the formation of such a new relation. I suppose in a world that works the way I want, people skip the introduction and start hugging and connect on a personal level immediately. So I suppose what I truly want was not so much social interaction but some intimate (YES! Intimacy is the word!) person-to-person, one-on-one...talk. Perhaps not just talk.

Now that I consolidated my anxiety into a blog post, what I need to do is to let the conversation happen "naturally" (Nothing is natural. Everything is cultural.) instead of worrying about it. But that's always better written than done.